Divanee Magazine Editors Blog

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*It’s not you, it’s your ammi*

Tis’ the season to get married in the Desi world. So I thought it fitting to post the *100 Premarital Questions* as recommended by SunniPath.com: http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=588&CATE=10

While I’m really very amused by the thought of a fobby-accented-salaan-smelling-Santa-Claus-looking Maulana acting as a marriage counselor I do see a need for such pointers considering the fast paced style of Desi weddings.

(Typical Desi style is: boy sees girl, boy’s mom calls girl’s mom, boy and girl get married – sometimes the first step is replaced with boy IMs/texts girl, or it is neglected completely.)

I would like to suggest some more practical questions for women, though, that if settled and agreed upon beforehand might deter later problems:

1) Is your mother alive?

2) Do you have/ have you ever had a veneral disease? Would you be opposed to being tested?

3) How often does your mother visit the motherland?

4) If I don’t feel like shaving/waxing my legs every now and then will you still love me?

5) If you mother is still alive, do you plan on having her live with us? If not, how far away will we be living from her? (in exact miles please)

6) Exactly how fat can I get before you would start getting repulsed? (in exact pounds please)

7) What’s the longest length of time you have spent away from your mother?

8 ) How much of your paycheck can I spend at Neiman Marcus? (in exact dollars please)

9) Do you believe Rukhsiti is really neccessary or can the marriage be consumated right after Nikkah?

10) Really, is your mother alive AND healthy?

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May 26, 2006 - Posted by | Relationships, Uncategorized

12 Comments »

  1. This reminds of a subway ad that makes me laugh everytime. It has a picture of a female hand flicking a diamond ring. The ad says, ‘1800divorce, when diamonds are not forever.’

    Comment by miral | May 26, 2006 | Reply

  2. hehe that ad should probably be placed in every honeymoon suite….. it’s comical and tragic how divorce is becoming so commercialized… i guess it started when the institution of marriage became so commercialized…?

    Comment by nadiam | May 26, 2006 | Reply

  3. hahahaha. was this series of questions created exclusively for hydro men? bloody mama’s boys.

    Comment by SarahK | May 26, 2006 | Reply

  4. hahaha… nah… Sarah… Desi men in general… I was just having a lil fun… (just wanted to point that out to any Desi guys reading this… before they start whining that I’m being stereotypical… I will say that I welcome a list of questions from the male side…)

    Comment by Nadia | May 26, 2006 | Reply

  5. so we were getting platters last night at 53rd and 6th, and nadia asked the platter dude some questions. i didn’t overhear the conversation, however remembering the expression on his face and after reading this blog entry, it all makes sense now ! true story :>

    Comment by saad | May 28, 2006 | Reply

  6. nadia, this is scary.

    i’ll take the bait, here are the top ten questions from a paki guy perspective *drum roll*

    1) Are you a virgin?

    2) Will you stay home and take care of the kids or is your career more important?

    3) Will you fight with my mother 24/7 and make my life hell or will you be chilled and make my life wonderful?

    4) Is going to the gym important to you? (i.e.: will you age gracefully?)

    5) If I go broke, will you still be around? (i.e.: do you like me for me?)

    6) Do you know how to cook or are you willing to learn?

    7) How many white guys have you dated?

    8) Are you going to use sex as a weapon during marriage?

    9) Will you be my ally first and foremost?

    10) Will you nag 24/7 and make me want to shoot myself?

    Comment by Fahd | May 30, 2006 | Reply

  7. I should have asked these questions before I got married. MIL’s can be hellacious.

    Comment by Sadaf | June 3, 2006 | Reply

  8. Question from a girl to a guy….

    Do u have or have had any venereal deceases….?

    How many woman have you slept with? or r u a virgin?

    do u agree that that urs is mine and whats mine is mine?

    Comment by Katherine/aisha | September 27, 2006 | Reply

  9. As a top 10 type of guy, I agree with Fahd on his 10…

    Comment by DrDetroit | September 28, 2006 | Reply

  10. As a top 10 type of guy, I agree with Fahd on his 10…

    Comment by DrDetroit | September 28, 2006 | Reply

  11. Both sets of these questions, posted by Nadia and Fahd are extremely shallow and stupid. And worse are individuals who actually ask these kind of questions.

    Comment by Chandnee | September 29, 2006 | Reply

  12. and the award for the best sense of humor goes to….

    Comment by Nadia | October 1, 2006 | Reply


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