Divanee Magazine Editors Blog

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*It’s not you, it’s your ammi*

Tis’ the season to get married in the Desi world. So I thought it fitting to post the *100 Premarital Questions* as recommended by SunniPath.com: http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=588&CATE=10

While I’m really very amused by the thought of a fobby-accented-salaan-smelling-Santa-Claus-looking Maulana acting as a marriage counselor I do see a need for such pointers considering the fast paced style of Desi weddings.

(Typical Desi style is: boy sees girl, boy’s mom calls girl’s mom, boy and girl get married – sometimes the first step is replaced with boy IMs/texts girl, or it is neglected completely.)

I would like to suggest some more practical questions for women, though, that if settled and agreed upon beforehand might deter later problems:

1) Is your mother alive?

2) Do you have/ have you ever had a veneral disease? Would you be opposed to being tested?

3) How often does your mother visit the motherland?

4) If I don’t feel like shaving/waxing my legs every now and then will you still love me?

5) If you mother is still alive, do you plan on having her live with us? If not, how far away will we be living from her? (in exact miles please)

6) Exactly how fat can I get before you would start getting repulsed? (in exact pounds please)

7) What’s the longest length of time you have spent away from your mother?

8 ) How much of your paycheck can I spend at Neiman Marcus? (in exact dollars please)

9) Do you believe Rukhsiti is really neccessary or can the marriage be consumated right after Nikkah?

10) Really, is your mother alive AND healthy?


May 26, 2006 Posted by | Relationships, Uncategorized | 12 Comments

Where you from?

I love NYC. I love living here. It is one of the best cities in the world (this statement is subjective not objective, of course).

But, one thing that drives me crazy is the random comments by street harassers in broad daylight about Indian girls.

"You from India? You married?"

"God bless you, Indian woman."

…and the like…actually some of the stuff people say is pretty vulgar.
Firstly, my origins lie in Pakistan (not that should matter). Secondly, I don't reveal too much in my dress (not that should matter either because it's not about that). Thirdly,what do you hope to accomplish by yelling out something vulgar to a person trying to pass by or just trying to take the subway. No, we aren't asking for it. Which is why I'm really glad someone started this site:


"Holla Back NYC, which [launched] a Web site encouraging women to post photos of anyone who makes uninvited or inappropriate comments and gestures. “It’s not a protest, per se,” explained Emily May, one of Holla Back’s founders. “We don’t hate the guy. We just want to raise awareness about street harassment and let people know it’s not OK."

This is why I love NY.

May 26, 2006 Posted by | Social Justice | 4 Comments